James 1:22-27

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror
and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.
But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it–he will be blessed in what he does.
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:22-27

i coincidently turn to james and see these verses and they correlate with what eric said last night. in fact many of us understand God's standard and know exactly what to do, but we refuse to follow and even give excuses to ourselves.
it is like no matter how hard you read the bible or understand the context, the door to the kingdom of God is shut. you are in fact wasting time to read a book called bible in your life time. it has nothing to help you enter through the gate, unless you actually do what it says.

i deeply feel it this way last night. this is why i think we are so spiritually struggling (boldly speaking). please answer if i am wrong.

I thank you for writing this, and I take it personally. Excuses, I have many. I'm living in a world of darkness, where I see no light. I'm only age 24 this year. I'm weak. I'm just another child. Just a normal person.

1 John 2:15-17
15Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

But I'm of the world. How can I not love the world? Over and over, my only prayer is for God's forgiveness and mercy, and that I can have more time to repent. Jesus is the high priest, and He understands our weakness, and He will cleanse us of the sins we've committed beforehand. But tomorrow is anew and I again face the temptations of the world alone. I think to myself that I kept the sabbath a couple of times. I'd like to think that I was reading the scriptures in front of Him, and eating in front of Him, and delighting in His creation, but I don't even know if God delighted in it. When I sin, He does not punish me. I'm in this faith because I have no choice. I know the Almighty rules above all. Yet I'm frightened to call Him Father because I don't know if I ever was recognized as a son. All I can do is thank Him for being merciful, that I'm left alive to this day.

So I believe, but I have no faith. Sometimes I read the bible feeling like I'm reading into my own destruction. Just being completely honest.

Same here, Eric's one who speaks but cannot do.